Family, Dating, Relationships: Single but Building Lasting Relationships
Last year I did a radio interview with Dr. Clarence Shuler. He is full of wisdom for single adults, and since he is a man he has alot of insight for single Christian women who are trying to understand men. Check out some questions I asked him recently that (if you are a single Christian woman) will give you some insight into dating for marriage.
What are the biggest struggles of single, Christian men?
Pornography, sex before marriage, and trying to stay pure. These are constant battles. There is also the issue of being a “good guy.” Many Christian ladies are attracted to “bad boys.”
What makes a man value a woman enough to marry her?
Men like to pursue a woman. Men like women who have integrity and values. Men love a woman of mystery. When a man doesn’t have to pursue a woman, his ego loves it, but she doesn earn his respect. His respect for her is created and increased during his pursuit of her. This is so critical for men who grew up without a father.
If a man doesn’t have to pursue a woman, he makes her one of his “back pocket” women. These are women he dates only when he can’t get a date with his first choice—a woman he pursues!
I’m sure you’ve noticed the trend of single men and women delaying marriage. What are some of the reasons you’ve noticed and do you think they’re valid reasons?
The primary reason singles delay marrying is they don’t want to get divorced.
What advice would you give for older singles (30+) who are still hoping for marriage?
The age for marrying in the U.S. increases annually because people want to marry, but fear a divorce. If you are 30+ and desire to marry, don’t believe something is wrong with you because you aren’t married. God may not be holding out on you as much as He is holding His Best for you! Don’t doubt God’s love for you! To doubt His love is of our enemy, Satan. You need to be content in your singleness. If you aren’t content being single, then, you won’t be content in a dating relationship or marriage. Focus on being God’s Best, more than looking for God’s Best. God won’t bring His Best to mess! God’s Best for you is right now, not yesterday, nor tomorrow. Don’t miss what God is trying to do in your life today! Be willing to be single the rest of your life. Take the pressure off yourself. Often when singles do this they find themselves married a year or two later. Feeling that you have to be married or deserved to be married sends negative signals to potential spouses. Also remember that you need to like you because if you don’t that also emits negative signals too. So relax and enjoy being you. It is less stressful for you and extremely attractive to those with whom you’d like to get to know.
Clarence Shuler
Latest posts by Clarence Shuler (see all)
- Family, Dating, Relationships: Single but Building Lasting Relationships - January 15, 2016
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