Ask Afi: “I’m Not Meeting Single Christian Men”
Quite a few of my community members struggle with meeting single Christian men. As a dating Christian woman, it’s one that I’ve experienced myself from time to time.
BUT there are a few things you can do to stack the odds in your favor. Check out this question from one of my Let’s Talk About It Community members:
Hi Afi. First I want to thank you for the email. Second, I feel so hopeless when it comes to finding a partner. I’m 25 turning 26 in October. Sometimes I feel like perhaps God doesn’t want me to be married. I feel so lonely most of the time. The only thing which keeps me going daily is my job. lately I’ve been feeling unsatisfied with that as well.
I’m a nurse at one of the busiest hospitals in my country, which means I rarely get to go out and meet potential partners. the most unfortunate thing is that my two older sisters who are 32 and 27 are also single and never dated before. Anyway my question is ,and what I wonder alot about is, why doe sit seem like the girls who grow up “wild and a bit loose” find seemingly good partners and marry but for someone like me whose God-fearing, morally reserved can’t even meet a single man. It seems and feels like God has shut this door on me. I feel lonely so much.
Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing with me. I can definitely relate to you and how you are feeling. I want to encourage you that there is ALWAYS hope. Unless God has directly spoken to you concerning lifelong singleness, seek Him concerning the matter.
To answer your question as briefly but completely via e-mail so you don’t have a book on your hands! With women who always seem to get men pursuing them, sometimes you have to take a look at the type of man that is after them. They may not be the type of man that is right for you. And when you are fully submitted to the Lord, there are different scriptures that basically say that people who obtain things in the wrong way are not to be envied. But the real issues isn’t them. The real issue is your focus on what YOU can be doing according to the word of God to move closer to your goal of marriage.
Which brings me to three potential lifestyle issues I’ve noted from your e-mail – which are very common with single Christian women. In fact, they were ones that I struggled with once I matured in my own walk with God. First, you don’t have any mentors – particularly ones who can help you in this area. It seems from your e-mail that your two sisters are the ones you talk to most about this, but neither of them have been married or had any luck on the dating scene. Second, you spend most of your waking time at work. And this is common for a lot of people. I mean, we have to work for a living. But I’d be curious to know if there’s any way for you to scale back on hours to have a life outside of work. Third you don’t maximize your time for social connection and recreation outside of work. I don’t know for sure, but I’d be willing to bet that your feelings of dissatisfaction at work are spilling over into your non-work life and that you might find yourself too tired to do anything once you DO get free time.
After a bit more dialogue with this young lady, I invited her to talk with me 1-on-1. And if you are experiencing this issue I’m extending the same offer to you!
I also want you to check out my audio e-course with my step by step process to meet single, Christian men:
Afi Ruel
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